Piano Audition

Yesterday I had a piano audition. I felt SO depressed, I even wanted to kill myself. My mom forced me to wear super formal clothes, they were so uncomfortable and stupid. We went to Queen's University, the same place I had my cello festival at. There were some people I recognized when we got there, like Bhuttacharya. We registered, and I had to put my books according to the order of my pieces. We waited a long time, and it went way past the estimated time. During that I felt like I might kill myself. Then we went to the studio, and the monitor took my books. When I went in there was a judge and a monitor. She told me to warm-up with scales and chords. So I just played C Major and G Major scales. Then she told me to start my first piece whenever I'm ready. When I started it, I was very nervous. I only did 2 very minor mistakes in that one. The next 2 were easy pieces, I did no mistakes. I did okay, and I received the rating later of "Merit". 

My Mom kept lecturing me about how bad it's to be nervous. I felt bored...but she threatened me that in the future I will have to take countless exams, like SAT and competition, like Mathcounts and audition, like piano/cello, you name it. She said how I could handle all these challenges in my life if I'm always being so depressed/nervous. She made me feel so scared. Today after the torture, I became alive and felt wanting to eat 999 Panera Bread sandwiches again. When something bad was over, it felt so good. I like that feeling though. I don't think I need to worry too much about this. When I grow up more, I would be fine. I think I can survive eventually, as usual. Mom said I should learn from my brother Terence, who is all-time calm no matter what. He could be so calm in countdown in Mathcounts that won 1st place. He did ACT with good score when he was grade 7. Yeah it's true my brother is better in this aspect. But you know what, he is a WOOD-LOG. He has no feeling or emotion at all. And he is stupid too!!! I never want to be like him!!!